Thursday, December 6, 2007

Fuck you, Cupcakes.

What the hell, man? What is with these chicks? It seems like every time the Victoria's Secret girls are done with their pillow fights over at the Vegas Casino I own, they want cupcakes. When did cupcakes get so trendy? This really snuck up on me. I mean, usually I'm prepared for a sneak attack due to my ninja reflexes always being two steps ahead of everyone else, but these cupcakes are a real bitch.

Dudes, chicks go bananas for these things. Personally I don't get it, but for your sake, I'll point you in the direction of some places to get them. I've never been to them personally since I usually have my good friends, George Clooney and Brad Pitt pick some up before we go golfing with J.Lo's ass. I'm not going to give you any recipes since these girls at the cupcake stores will do a much better job**.

In the SF Bay Area try the following spots:

Kara's Cupcakes

3249 Scott St
(between Chestnut St & Lombard St)
San Francisco, CA 94123
(415) 563-2253

American Cupcake

415) 244-7650

Sweet Things

3585 California Street
(between Locust St & Spruce St)
San Francisco, CA 94118
(415) 221-8583

Any of the three of these spots should satisfy. If you don't live in the Bay Area, let me know, and I'll swing by in my private jet flown by John Travolta and Snoop, and pick you up. Also, if you don't have a girl to get cupcakes for then maybe you can meet one at the cupcake store, since hanging out by yourself at a cupcake shop isn't creepy.

**Don't get me wrong, fellas, I have the utmost confidence that you could bake some cute little tasty cupcakes, but these will look better and save you the trouble. Plus, sometimes just going out and buying some dessert-type stuff will make her nuttier than a port-a-potty at a peanut festival. (What?)


Lauraelena said...

Mmmmmm....cupcakes. I think that the whole trend over them started with Magnolia in NYC. It is a super yummy and delicious and yummy bakery. It has been featured on everything from Food Network to Sex and the City...I think that has something to do with them (besides the fact that they are just plain good).

Jet said...

heh heh. Two of my friends have cupcake tattoos. One of them makes them a lot and the other one works here.

They are SOOO good. We scarfed a few down the other night because suddenly we were very...hungry. Hm.

Remember, you may hate cupcakes, but they love you!