Steak and Salad: Strangers No More.

Hey gang. I used to work in a restaurant that was a sort of a California/Mexican/Douchebag fusion type of place. The owner was really friendly and full of personality, a real Dick Cheney type. The chef was cool though in that, "Hey kid, have you ever heard Steely Dan?" kind of way. I didn't get much out of that job except a crushed spirit and a kick ass idea for a steak salad. This isn't stolen, it's merely a recipe "inspired" by Chef Charlemagne. You and your girl will love it, fellas, and she'll see that you're a real sensitive dude because you made her a salad.

Here's what you need:

Approx. 1 lb. of thinly sliced steak.

Romaine lettuce, washed and torn into salad size pieces.

Red and green bell pepper, sliced long and thin.

Cucumber, peeled, and sliced thin.

Frozen corn.

Black beans, get a good quality like Bush's. Bad black beans suck.

Tomato, optional. Some people think that tomatoes are the most disgusting tasting things on earth. That's just what I heard.

To prepare the salad:

1. Cook steak. As it's very thin, it will cook very quickly, just give it a few minutes, watching it the whole way. Season with salt, pepper, and garlic powder. Set aside.

2. Combine lettuce, sliced bell peppers, sliced cucumber, in a salad bowl.

3. Cook corn, and rinse under cold water. Set aside.

4. Cook beans, and rinse under cold water. Set aside.

To prepare the dressing:

Mix together olive oil, red wine vinegar, a few dashes of Worchester sauce, a dash of Tabasco, and a drop of A1 sauce. Now we all know measurements are kind of iffy for dressings, so do it by taste as you go along. After you've mixed the "wets" together. Add salt and fresh ground pepper. Then add some dried Rosemary (be sure to crush it up to release flavor), and crush a garlic clove and throw it in. Shake it all together in an airtight container, or a blender, or just beat it like a dead horse.

Once the dressing is ready, remove the garlic clove and pour over the lettuce, peppers, and cucumber, and mix. Plate the dressed vegetables*. Add the corn in small bundles on opposite side of the plate. Then do the same with the black beans. Top the entire thing with the steak. Your done. Optional garnishes include sour cream, jalepenos, or Valentina hot sauce.

That's that. It's easy and it'll please your lady. Maybe once she's happy you can go back to cleaning your guns and voting republican in peace and quiet.


*Hint: Placing the entire salad on top of pita or flatbread is a great addition, but not necessary.